Worst Jokes Ever
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
I made a song about a tortilla. Well, it's more of a wrap.
ISIS is the mark of the beast.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
Roses are red, Violets are ugly.
Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
Dude, what if 9/11 happened because they wanted slavery back?
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.