Worst Jokes Ever
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........đź’€
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.