Worst Jokes Ever
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
Why are Black people afraid of ghosts?
Because ghosts remind them of the KKK.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."
What is Uludağ made from? Dog pee!
Akbar: How many crows are there, Birbal?
Birbal: 8,971.
Akbar: What if there are fewer?
Birbal: Then some crows went on vacation to visit their relatives.
Akbar: What if there are more?
Birbal: Then some came on vacation here to visit their relatives.