Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Add joke

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”

I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?

Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.