Worst Jokes Ever
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"