I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
911 jokes usually go over my head
Then it hits me
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.
Dude people gotta stop letting 9 11 jokes fly around like bro ur gonna my my brain explode
2 sentence horror story’s go
What do you call an orphans family reunion?
Alone time
What did one toilet say to the other ?
You look pretty flushed.
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us
It’s been a few weeks, and its clear that you do not have that sense
Battery 1%
I take one last look at earth as my suit runs out of power
Why did an old man fall in a well ?
Because he couldn't see that well.
lgbtq = lebron giving back to qommunities (communitys)
Boy 1: Sonic is a fictional character. Boy 2: Yeah, just like your dad.
how do a disabled man go to crutch he can thanes no ramp
i try and try every day.. but 5 keep comibg out theres so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
im shidding still babies are still coming and going
i shidded out my baby then became a fish
Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen hawking during a housefire.
How many beans are there in Irish Chili?? A: 239 Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine? A: ( spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more it'd be two farty. ..lol
orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
