Yourself jokes
Show yourself.
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.
Twin Towers are on fire.
The terrorist has a streak of two.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.
Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly."
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.