WW2 jokes
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?
Rainbow Six Siege.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
Did you know my grandpa was in WW2? He killed Hitler.
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.