We jokes

We need to stop making orphan jokes like this because they aren’t mean enough. We need more cruel jokes.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

Sorry to take your time today for a few minutes. We are cool, but not the best.

We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.

Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

God says, "You are what you are."

Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.

I'll let you decide.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.

I kicked a soccer ball into a kid in a wheelchair, so we are playing Rocket League.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."