Verizon

Verizon jokes

Orphan

  • Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

    Kid: I don't know why.

    Man: Because they have a family plan.

    Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

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    Orphan

  • Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

    Kid: Why?

    Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

    Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

    Man: Why?

    Kid: I'm an orphan.

    Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

    (You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

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    Husband

  • A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

    Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."

    Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

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  • Comparison

  • Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

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