Vega jokes

Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.

What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.

EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!

What's black, gold, and red all over?

Tupac in Vegas.

What’s red, gold, and blank in Las Vegas?

Tupac

A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.

At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.

Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"

Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.

The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"

The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."

What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?

The Las Vegas shooting.

What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?

Consensual Rapper 7.

vgvgvgh.

Viggie tickles.

Replace the v in Venus with a p.

VVD [is] better than Sergio Ramos.

Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-