Vacuum Cleaner jokes

Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.

"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"

I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.

What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?

Answer: SUCCulent

If you're cleaning a vacuum, aren't you the vacuum cleaner?

This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?

You have to turn them on before they start to suck.

You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.

There was a cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She sucked!

If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?