Unarmed jokes

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.

He was charged for impersonating a police officer.

You just shot an unarmed man.

Well, he should have armed himself then.

What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.

when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.