Twos jokes
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.
Twin Towers are on fire.
The terrorist has a streak of two.
Q: Why are Americans bad at Clash Of Clans?
A: They already lost two towers.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.
Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"
Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost two towers!
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
Q: Why do Americans suck at Clash Royale?
A: Because they already lost two towers!
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
POV: I threw a paper airplane between the two twins, class.
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.