Twos jokes
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
The Twin Towers ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plane.
Why can't Asians make a white baby?
Cause two wongs don't make a white.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
Q: Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
A: Because they lost two of their towers.
Two sentence horror stories go.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
How are genders different than the Twin Towers?
There are two genders.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Why does USA suck at Clash Royale? They already lost two towers.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.