friend: how's it going? me: good, things are good! parent: how are you? me: oh I'm fine! Twitter: compose new tweet? me: hellooooo l would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it
if priests were on twitter they would tweet "he's a 10 but he's 10".
Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”
What do you het when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
Wat do you give a sick bird? Tweet-ment!
On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".