Thirty Years' War jokes

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.