Their jokes

Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.

Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

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    • If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

    They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

    Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

    What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?

    They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.

    I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

    I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.

    What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?

    Air quality alert code brown!

    I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

    Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

    Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

    Why is prostitution illegal?

    Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.