The jokes
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
Why is the USA bad at Clash Royale? 'Cause they already lost two towers.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?