The jokes
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50 and Jack came down smiling.
What did the Titanic say while sinking?
"It's going down."
What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!
What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
The homepage.
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Look in the mirror.