The jokes
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.
I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
I was wondering why the tennis ball was getting bigger 🤔
Then it hit me 🤧😂
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What show do orphans hate the most?
Fullerb
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 10 fingers, the middle ones are for you.
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.
The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!
What store is the most public?
Publix!
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni, yet plane arrived!!!