The jokes

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"

Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit on the rainbow.

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.

Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X?

"It has no home button."

The African kids' theme song is "Staying Alive."

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage!

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?

His internet connection ran out.

I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣

You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.