The jokes
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
What is the darkest month?
Black History Month.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
What do you call a rapper who can't rhyme?
A rapscallion without the rap.
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.
Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.