The jokes

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Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.

That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?

That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Like if you laugh.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?

Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"

Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."

What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?

To see his closest relatives.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!