The jokes
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
What's an orphan's favorite game to play on Roblox? The game Adopt Me.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where the home plate is.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
Why did the orphan become a str1pper?
So she can have someone to call daddy.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
Why was the number 10 scared? Because bro was stuck between 9/11.