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The jokes

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11?

A cow can’t be milked for 21 years.

The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

What caused Captain Hook's death?

He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.

doctor: you need to eat healthy.

me: no.

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

me: oh my goodness.

doctor: in a plane crash.

me: that sounds unrelated.

doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!