The jokes

Why does the orphan can’t write a single word or sentence?

Because the orphan is dumber.

A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?

The hairline is way straighter.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?

They're both full of child groomers.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.