The jokes

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.

The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."

The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.