The jokes
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.
You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”
Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.