The jokes

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I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?

"They forgot the stuffing!"

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

Your mother's hairline is sooooooo long cause Dora the Explorer could not explore it.

A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.