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The jokes

Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.

The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”