The jokes
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?
Because it can’t find the home button.
Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"
The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.