The jokes
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
The Twin Towers are like my dad, they are never coming back.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.
What do emo kids have in common with orphans?
They both depress'd on the inside.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
Why donβt I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Whatβs the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
Whatβs the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
One comes out of the chamber.
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Why is the orphan failing all his classes? He can't do homework.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!