The jokes
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
I put the Christmas balls in my sack.
I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!
Knock knock. Hus dare? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the window and you'll see.
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why did I buy the orphan an iPhone 12? Because he couldn't get home.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.