The jokes
Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?
"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"
Why is the oldest iPhone an orphan?
It can't get the iPhone XI or XR. It doesn't have a home button.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?
Because his keys were inside of the ignition.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.
Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"
Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."