The jokes

I made a website for orphans.

Silly me, I forgot the home page.

Which tower is better at playing catch? The south tower, obviously. It caught 2!

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.

Wanda: Ok, Timmy.

Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!

Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.

*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*

Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?

Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.

What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.

What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?

The elevator can raise a family.

No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.

I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.

What did the titanic say as it was sinking?

I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

What do the initials POOP stand for?

Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩

My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”

Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!