The jokes
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
How did the rich save the poor?
They didn't let them in the Titanic.
What's the worst time to fly a plane?
My little sister that is 10 is so ugly her hairline can't even be found by Dora the Explorer.
Whatβs the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.
Whatβs the best thing about Switzerland?
I donβt know, but the flag is a big plus.
Who are the fastest readers? The victims of 9/11. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
Q: Why can't Asians play baseball?
A: Because they ate the bat!
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the π love of your life!π
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!π
Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!
The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ
Why is the USA so bad at chess? It already lost 2 towers.
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.