The jokes

One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"

A student says: "Bacon!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"

A student says: "Eggs!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"

A student says: "Homework!"

The whole class laughs.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.

What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite song currently?

"Under the Sea" by The Little Mermaid!

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?

Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Mom: Excuse me?

Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

She was too used to grabbing the tip.

Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

A: Bison.

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)