The jokes
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!
Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.