The jokes
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve?
Answer: Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".
Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree.