The jokes

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?

A. His mom threw an oven at him.

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.

Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?

He was actually quite funny...

He just blew the delivery.

(I'll show myself out).