The jokes
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
The people in the second tower, "I'm so glad that plane didn't hit our building!"
The second plane, πΏπΏπΏ
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song βHelen Keller.β
Old members come back, weβre bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, βWhose funeral is it?β
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, βI havenβt decided yet.β
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
There was someone who slept late... he missed the dream!
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!