The jokes
When Chuck Norris was asked, "Do you know the way?" he replied, "I am the way!"
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
Stephen Hawking forgot the WiFi password.
Stephen Hawking lost connection to the WiFi.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
He didn’t, there was no lift...!
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.