The jokes
Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.
Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.