The jokes
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.