The jokes
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
How do you make Indians explode? Press the red button.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.