The jokes
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
What’s the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.