The jokes
What happens when a Tandemaus evolves?
Friend: What's that white stuff coming out of the Pokémon Box?
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer, why?
Doctor: What are the chances?
Patient: Of what?
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
Americans: I will cook the pizza.
Italians: I cooka de pizza!
In a world of feline folly, There lived a cat with a secret, A taste for adventure and mischief, And a love for KFC's golden treat.
With eyes like emerald jewels, And fur as black as night, This feline prowled the streets, In search of a savory delight.
Oh, how it yearned for chicken, Crispy and finger-lickin' good, But the cat knew it had to be sly, To satisfy its craving like it should.
Through alleyways it stealthily tiptoed, With nimble paws and a stealthy glide, Until it stumbled upon a secret, That made its hunger amplified.
A stash of KFC's golden eggs, Hidden away from prying eyes, An accidental treasure trove, A feast fit for a feline paradise.
With each stolen egg devoured, The cat's satisfaction grew, The taste of crispy breading, And juicy chicken, it knew.
Word soon spread of this food bandit, A legend of a cat so bold, Whispers echoed through the town, Of the one who stole the KFC gold.
But the cat with the KFC get eggs, Remained a mystery to all, A phantom of the night it became, Leaving no trace, no trail to recall.
And so, it continues its nightly quest, For chicken that satisfies its soul, The cat with the KFC get eggs, Forever on the prowl, never to be controlled.