The jokes
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo
If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
What kind of knight puts dumb jokes on the internet?
You!
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."