The jokes
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She didn't have any arms, remember!
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
Where do you take your pig to karate?
The pork chop class!
After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frog's finger.
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
The joke is me.
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo
If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1