The jokes
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
What's the difference between Batman and Robin?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'.
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
I'm friends with only 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.