The jokes
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
What did the cat say when she stubbed her toe?
"(Me)owwww!"
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
The earth is not round.
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What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)