The jokes
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
The joke is u.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
Most of the jokes are trash.
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
Why did the man say "hi" to say "bye?"
Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.