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What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."

  • 1

    • What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

    Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?

    What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

    One of them has a POINT:)

    I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

    A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"

    The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."

    The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"

    The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."

    The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"

    The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"

    Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

    Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)

    What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?

    I don’t put fruit in a blender.

  • 0

    • Who are the fastest readers in the world?

    9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.

    The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)

    What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?

    They took a class trip.

    I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.

    The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!

    I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.

    Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."