The jokes
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Haloomi."
Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
What sayd the man to the woman??
Go to the kitchen lol.
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
The joke is this website.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
"I was lost in the woods yesterday."
"I was in some sticky situation..."
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
"Out of the way, I need to Caterpie."
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.