The jokes
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Why did the orphan cross the road? They thought they saw their mother.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.