The jokes
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
You are the joke.
One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Me.
The joke is as short as me.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
What's the best thing about twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty-one of them.
I'm the joke, bitch.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
What did the sunglasses say to the banana?
Nothing, sunglasses can’t talk.